Year of Firsts: Christmas & Dad's Birthday🎄

     One of the hardest days I was not looking forward to has come and gone. To be honest, it wasn't as gut-wrenching as I expected it to be. It was hard, don't get me wrong. But we made the days special and didn't dwell on the fact that dad wasn't physically with us. He was with us in spirit for sure.
    To start off, Mom and I visited Dad at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery a few days before Christmas. We knew it was going to be insane on Christmas day and we didn't want to deal with crowds. Every year, Jefferson Barracks puts out the wreaths that they have available on many headstones in the cemetery. Unfortunately, they do not have enough wreaths for the whole cemetery what with people being added every day. I wasn't aware of this or we would have made a donation sooner. So next year, Mom and I are going to make a donation to help out. If you are interested in making a donation to help Jefferson Barracks put wreaths on every headstone in their cemetery, go to their website here: Wreaths Across America.
    I warned Mom that it was possible dad would not have a wreath on his headstone. But when we arrived, we were pleasantly surprised. Dad DID have a wreath. It was beautiful. We had also brought some decorations to add to his headstone. Mom had a birthday card that she sealed up in plastic, I had purchased some silk poinsettias because dad loved those at Christmas, and I also printed and laminated the Fuchs Family Christmas Poem that has been passed down for years started with Great-Grandma Louise Strawhun.

Before we decorated

Dad and I after decorating

Mom said she just wanted to hug the headstone
We didn't leave the mat; it was just used for us to kneel on
and for decoration, while we were there

After decorating

As you can see, not everyone has a wreath

    

Fuchs Family Christmas Poem
Unknown Author
Put out by American Greeting Cards

    Mom and I were the only ones who went to the cemetery that day. And I'm glad about it. I needed some more time to grieve. After we left Jefferson Barracks, we also visited my Grandma & Grandpa Fuchs and Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa Strawhun at Oak Hill Cemetery. There was already a beautiful grave covering laid out at both burial plots. They were featured on my video, Grave Decorating with the Fuchs Family.
    For Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, mom stayed the night with us. She was so excited to just be getting out of the house for a few nights. I think it was this fact that made the days a little easier to handle. We were with each other and supported each other. Mom brought a picture of Dad for us to put out so he could be there with us to celebrate.
    Christmas morning we made pancakes like we always do and then proceeded to open presents. We had Sancia's friend and her sister with us for Christmas so they got to join in on the festivities. Teddy was placed under the tree as that was his favorite place to be during the Christmas holidays. His presence was also missed greatly. 

Teddy's ashes under the tree

    After presents, we watched the Muppet Christmas Carol and then we decorated gingerbread houses. This was what the teens were most excited for. I went crazy getting all kinds of treats for them to use. I think this is going to be a tradition that we will continue as everyone had so much fun. We decorated a Minion Gingerbread house one year for mom and while Dad wasn't into this type of stuff, he did enjoy sitting with us and chatting.

Gingerbread Village

    After we finished this activity, it was time to head to Santa's Magical Kingdom; a light display put up in Jellystone Park in Allenton, Missouri right next to Six Flags. This display was perfect because all we had to do was drive through. And it actuallly wasn't too packed, which suprised me. 

Santa's Magical Kingdom

    That concluded our Christmas celebrations. I think it helped that we kept busy for most of the day. Although there was one moment where it got rough and that was my fault. I gave mom that Christmas Card I posted about in my last blog post. If you haven't read it, check it out here: Dad's Last Christmas Card to Mom. 

    We made it through the first Christmas and Dad's birthday. Also the first Christmas without Teddy. They always hung out together when Mom and Dad would come over. Oh he loved Grandma for sure. But he would always go over to dad when he sat down and would wait for him to pet him. I do have one good photo of the two of them.

Christmas 2013

    Now that last first that we have to experience it coming up and I'm REALLY not looking forward to it. The anniversary of Dad's passing. While I've made peace with Dad being gone, there are still moments when grief rears its ugly head and crashes down on me like a wave. While I have great memories of Christmas, the memory of the last few days with Dad are rough. While I'm grateful for the time I had with him, those are days that were the hardest and I'd rather not remember. 
    I know we will still have "firsts" that will come up throughout the years. Such as the first Fuchs Christmas party without BOTH Dad and Uncle Kevin. But the first year is always the hardest to get through. I survived. We survived. It went by so fast. And while I didn't do as much as I wanted to do this Christmas, it was enough. We enjoyed each other and reflected on good times. 

    I hope you all had a good Christmas. If this was a first Christmas for you without someone, my heart goes out to you and I'm sending you a hug. I hope we can all make some good memories going forward. And here's hoping to a better year next year. Oh God please let it be better.

Merry Christmas from Auntie Jen

Dad's Last Christmas Card to Mom🎄

     There is no denying it. This is going to be the hardest Christmas of our lives thus far. Not only is it Dad's birthday, but it will be the first one without him. We've all been doing our best to get through despite the hardships we've been going through. I do have a few special items put around the house, although I wasn't able to decorate like I wanted to as I'm still recovering from the effects of Covid. I wanted to do so much this year to make it a joyful time since it is going to be hard, but I have to accept it is what it is and make the best of it. I do have some special gifts ready to give at least. One is particularly special. It's the last Christmas Card Dad bought for Mom.
    While I was working in the basement, cleaning off Dad's old desk, I came across a bag with a card and a receipt. It was a Christmas card. One that hadn't been used yet. I knew Dad had gotten it to give to Mom, but how long had this been sitting here. I inspected the receipt and it was dated 2019. Now, you may be saying that was two years ago. Yes, but last year Dad was so weak, he couldn't get out to buy mom a card for Christmas. So that makes this card the last one he ever PURCHASED for Mom for Christmas. (Listed on the receipt along with the card was some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Mom's favorite) So I knew what I had to do.

    I've held onto this card for months without breathing a word of it to Mom. I had a plan. I was going to give this card to Mom for Christmas from Dad. But I had some work to do. I had to find a card Dad had already given Mom and copy his signature, so I could print it on this card. Dad had not gotten around to signing the card. He had left it at home in 2019 when they came over here. So I was going to help him out and do what he intended to do.
    I found an old card from a few years ago that he signed and scanned in that signature. After that, I carefully printed the signature on the new card. I will say, I'm pretty impressed with the results. It looks like Dad signed the card. Then I took the old envelope from the other card and placed the new card in it. I did write a note explaining what this card was and how I came across it and put it in the envelope for Mom.

There was always a joke between them about being
the first spouse. They both were only married once
to each other.

    I know this is going to be such a hard year. I do hope this card makes Mom feel good although I know it may just make her miss him more. We are going to the cemetery tomorrow to place flowers at Dad's grave since we won't be able to make it out there on Christmas Day. Mom picked up a birthday card for Dad that she is going to leave there.
    I can't believe it's almost been a year already. The pain and emptiness will always be there, especially around Christmas, but I know Dad will always be with us. We will see if I have enough in me to write a blog post about my first Christmas without my dad. It's definitely not going to be easy. 

Christmas Songs: What's your favorite? 🎄

     It's Christmas time, so you know what that means. Yep, Christmas songs are everywhere. On the radio, in the malls and stores, and at home as well. A lot of people start listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but I'm a traditionalist. I usually wait until after Thanksgiving to enjoy everything Christmas. My dad used to make jokes about it too. I would go to their house and he would say, "Hey look Jen, we're watching a Christmas Movie in July!" I just believe in enjoying Christmas during the time it's supposed to be enjoyed so I don't get tired of it and have something to look forward to.

    Christmas music played a very important role in my life. I have so many good memories surrounded by many Christmas songs. My parents have a huge record player in their basement that they have had since the 70s. It's connected to the speakers in the ceiling, so no matter where you are in the basement, you will hear music. Dad would set up his long table for wrapping presents and checking light bulbs on the Christmas lights and we always had Christmas music playing on the record player. So when we finally moved into our house a few years ago, I told my parents I wanted a record player to play Christmas records on. Well, yeah other records as well, but mostly Christmas records. Priorities here. 

    If you are like most people, you have your favorite "go-to" Christmas songs that you have to listen to. Basically, it's not Christmas without these songs. That's how I feel about these particular songs. Some you have probably heard of, while others not so much. But these are my top 10 favorite songs that I HAVE to listen to during Christmas. To be fair, I love most Christmas songs; old and new. And I love many artists. So this list is not all-inclusive, but my top favorites. 

10. Silent Night by Anne Murray
Growing up as a kid, we always played Anne Murray's Christmas album on cassette. While there are a lot of great songs on that album, this song is definitely one of my favorites to listen to. I love this song in general really. I used to sing it to my daughter around Christmas time when she was little to help her relax. So I have a lot of great memories with this song. I now have this album in my collection on Vinyl. 

9. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
Many people have remade this song so many times over, but my favorite version is the one by Nat King Cole. This version immediately puts me in the Christmas mood. This is one I actually do not own, so I have to rely on the radio to play it for me. One day I will own it. And if I'm lucky, on Vinyl.

8. White Christmas by Bing Crosby
Ok, come on. You have to admit, it's not Christmas without this classic. I've loved this song since I was young cause I always wanted a white Christmas. I told my mom once that if we didn't have a white Christmas, I wasn't opening up any of my presents. Well, we didn't. But, yeah, I still opened my presents. You can't get more old school than this version. This song was actually #1 on the charts in 1942, the year my dad was born. Mark finally got this album for me on Vinyl for Christmas this year (2021).

7. Strawberry Snow by Brenda Lee
Bonus points for those who actually know this song. As a kid (you are going to hear me say that a lot in this blog post) I loved this song. Strawberry was my favorite flavor, so I always thought it would be neat to wake up to Strawberry Snow. This song is on her Christmas Album, along with another very memorable song that is coming up on this list.

6. Mary's Boy Child
We had this song on a cassette years ago, but I have no clue who sang this song. It was one of my dad's favorites. There are a few artists who have sang this song, but I will share the version by Evie. I think Dad would have enjoyed this version.

5. Come On Ring Those Bells by Evie
I wasn't introduced to this song until later in life by my best friend and sister, Sarah. They grew up listening to this song. Like me, it's not Christmas until you listen to certain songs, on Vinyl. The sound of the crackles in the background of different songs just adds to the Christmas feeling. When we lived near Sarah and her family, this song was always played on Christmas. Last year (2020), she surprised me with my very own copy of this album on Vinyl. I cried I was so happy. So this song definitely evokes many happy memories.

4. Happy Christmas (War is Over) by John Lennon
This year (2021), this song is really hard to listen to but is still one of my favorites because it reminds me of my dad. My dad loved this song for a few reasons. One is the children singing in the background. Another is the subject matter. It was produced in 1971 in the midst of the Vietnam War. My dad served in Vietnam in 1969 and it was the hardest thing he ever experienced. I will never know how deep this song affected my dad, but I play it in remembrance of his service and just in his memory in general.

3. All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey
Is it really Christmas if we don't hear this? I play this for my hubby every year and even have it as my ring tone for him on my phone. We finally got this album on Vinyl a few years ago, but it's got a few problems. I find new Vinyl albums tend to have more problems than older, used Vinyl records. I used to play this CD in the car when I started driving, blasting the songs and singing really loud. Good times. 

2. Christmas in St. Louis by Randy Mayfield
Unless you live in St. Louis, you probably don't know this song. It was on the same cassette as my dad's favorite version of Mary's Boy Child. Many years ago, with the help of a friend, we were able to put that cassette on CD for my dad so it would be preserved. The tape was starting to get old and I was afraid it wouldn't work anymore. I had an idea to create a special ornament with this song a few years ago, but the idea never panned out. Before I had finalized the idea, I knew I needed the permission of the writer, Randy Mayfield, to use his song otherwise I couldn't make the ornament. So I contacted him to ask his permission or to see what I needed to do to acquire his permission. Well, I got the surprise of a lifetime when he actually called me on the phone! He even sang the song to me on the phone. I was completely star-struck. He even gave me permission as long as he got an ornament and sent me a better copy of the song. But like I said, I never got the ornament conception finalized. Maybe one day. 

Before we get to my number 1 favorite song, I wanted to give an honorable mention. Mary Did You Know by Pentatonix. This is a beautiful rendition of this song. Completely acapella. No other version in my opinion measures up to this. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you listen to it and try not to cry. 

1. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee
If any of you know me, you will know this is my absolute favorite Christmas song. Ever since I was a little kid. It's definitely not Christmas without this song. Well, her whole Christmas album period. Before I got this album on Vinyl, my Mother-in-law got me a CD with all her Christmas music on it. It even had songs on it I had never heard her sing before. I loved it! Now, I have two copies of her original Christmas album on Vinyl. One belonged to my parents and the other belonged to my grandma. Oh and I listen to this album very often during Christmas on my record player.

    Well, there you have it! My top 10 favorite Christmas songs that I HAVE to listen to every year. What are your favorites? Do you own them on Vinyl? How do you prefer to listen to your Christmas music? Also, what are some Christmas songs you can't stand? Either because they play them too often or just because you don't like them. Share in the comments below.

🎄Merry Christmas!🎄

Year of Firsts: Thanksgiving & Losing an Uncle

     This year has been anything but normal. Between Covid, deaths, and other circumstances, nothing has been what we thought it would be. Thanksgiving was no different. 
    We were so excited for Thanksgiving to come. We wanted to get together and have some good food and try to make some good memories. This, of course, was the first Thanksgiving since Dad had passed, but last year wasn't normal either. Dad was in the hospital for Thanksgiving last year, so we didn't get to spend it with him. 

Dad in the hospital

Day after Thanksgiving 2020

Reading his favorite section of the paper

"Let's Eat!"

Thanksgiving

Our house

2020

    Mom went to the hospital for Thanksgiving and I went the day after to bring him some leftovers. So this year, we wanted to have a good gathering around our table. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
    A week before Thanksgiving, I started feeling really crappy. Sneezing, coughing, sore throat, aches & pains, etc. I was supposed to go to Mom's to sign some papers for Dad's estate but ended up going to get tested just in case. And would you believe, I tested positive for Covid. I'd made it this long without catching the virus, but as Mark said, it was only a matter of time since the virus wasn't going away.
    Soon after, Sancia started with symptoms. You know what this means. Yep, Thanksgiving was canceled. I would have to be quarantined for 10-14 years which would put us past Thanksgiving. So once again, Thanksgiving would not be normal. Mom was so great though. She cooked a nice big meal for us and dropped it off. We had ordered 2-20lb turkeys to cook this year. One for dinner and one for my homemade turkey broth so I can make my soups for winter. Yeah, that is also delayed.
    Since Thanksgiving didn't resemble anything normal, it wasn't as hard to get through missing Dad. Obviously, we miss him. But being sick kind of distracted us. And now, Mark has also tested positive and is off work for at least a week. He will get re-tested Monday. I am still suffering from burning in my chest, but am finally starting to feel somewhat better. It's more than likely, I have what they call "Long Haul Covid" which means the symptoms will outlast the virus itself for a long time. 

    I wish I could say this was the only upsetting thing to occur at this moment. But like I said at the beginning, nothing has been normal. My Uncle Kevin has been battling Cancer again this year and we got work right after Thanksgiving they were putting him on hospice. On November 30, 2021, we lost Uncle Kevin. I'm still reeling from this. I can't even begin to process this. It hasn't even been a year since we lost Dad and now Uncle Kevin.

Read Uncle Kevin's Obituary Here

    Dad never would have been able to handle this. They were really close. Uncle Kevin would take Dad to his cancer treatments and doctor appointments. Everywhere they went, they would make people smile and laugh. Especially the nurses and cancer patients in the room. I know after Dad passed, he felt so lost. We all still do. 

Uncle Kevin & Dad

Christmas 2018

    This Thanksgiving didn't turn out like we thought it was going to, but what are you going to do? I'm still recovering along with Mark and Sancia. I don't have any energy to decorate for Christmas. I'm trying to get my tree up, but it is taking a lot out of me. At this rate, I won't be putting up decorations outside. I almost don't want Christmas to come. Not only will it be the first Christmas without Dad and now Uncle Kevin, but it's also Dad's birthday. How am I going to do this?

Last Thanksgiving we had with Dad

Our house - 2019

Christmas in July

    For those who know me, know I do NOT celebrate Christmas outside of the normal Christmas holiday. OH, I love Christmas. It's my favorite time. But I don't want to ruin the magic of Christmas by celebrating it all year round. I don't want to get tired of it. And too much of anything runs the risk of growing tired of it. So I don't listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas movies or have decorations out. 
    Now, my Dad was different. He would watch Christmas movies all year round. They bought a ton of Hallmark Christmas movies to watch anytime they want. Dad would tease me every time I went over when they were watching Christmas movies. He would say, "Oh look we are watching a Christmas movie!" He knew my rules and couldn't understand why I was so strict with them. I said it's just a personal preference. But you better believe when Christmas time comes, I decorate like crazy and drive everyone insane with movies and music.
    What also makes Christmas special to my dad is that is his birthday. So of course he loves Christmas even more. But seriously, he loved the season in general. It always made him happy. He would love to spend time with family and help those in need. I've heard a ton of stories about Christmases when my dad and his siblings were younger. Good times.
    I think this is the first year I am dreading Christmas... For obvious reasons. It will be the first Christmas without Dad and now without Teddy. Oh, I'm so grateful for the last Christmas we had with Dad. We made it the best we could and he seemed happy. One thing he said he wanted was Christmas with his family, so that's what he got. I even got him an ornament from the hospital that said that.

    Well, as the title states July is here and many people celebrate Christmas in July. Hey, you do you. If that's what makes you happy. I'm not big on doing that... well usually. But I decided to honor Dad last night. Mom has been watching Christmas movies on Hallmark this month, so I decided to break my own rule. Last night, Mark and I watched a Christmas movie. Well, I consider it a Christmas movie. It's called Shop Around The Corner with James Stewart. Dad loved that movie. He introduced it to me. So, for you Dad, I watched it last night. I survived without crying so that's a good thing. But this Christmas, I know I will be balling my eyes out.

What about you?
Do you celebrate Christmas in July?