"Dear Grandma Helfrich,
Why, oh why are you so hard to figure out? I thought this was going to be pretty simple since Honey kept a date book of important information about the family. Then I learned she lied about her wedding date and tried to hide the truth. I know you lived in a different time period than what I live in right now, but come on! You could have kept a diary explaining what happened and why, passed it down to all us women showing us everything you went though. From the research I've done already, I have to say I admire you for being strong through all these difficult times. No shame in that. I just want to know the truth. It's taken me six years to get to this point. It's getting frustrating! Are you trying to hide something? Well, guess what? I'm coming for you Grandma Helfrich. I will find the truth. You can't hide forever!
Love, your 3rd great grand daughter"
This is just one of many letter's I've written in my head to my 3rd great grandmother, Maggie Helfrich. Sometimes it's more loving, other times it's more frustrating and demanding. Don't you just wish sometimes you could just write a letter to your ancestor or even sit across from them and ask them questions. Some days I picture it being like tea with grandma, other times I picture it being like an interrogation. My family was doing their best keeping the truth hidden from people. Frustrating! And it makes searching for records difficult. But with a little patience (and stubbornness) on my part, I've found some necessary records. And that's what this post is all about. I am one step closer to learning more about my Grandma Helfrich.
Little background before we get started. Here is the page from the family date book mentioning Maggie and her information.
A few Sundays ago, I was looking over some newspaper clippings I'd come across back in January thanks to some wonderful members of the facebook group GAA. Thanks to them, I found her marriage record to her second husband. Click here to read about that find. So I was looking back over the newspaper clippings, specifically the one mentioning her divorce.
Doing a quick google search for Chancery Court records first led me to Family Search. They had quite a few listings for the Chancery Court records.... but (why is there always a but) those records are only available at a Family Research Center in Salt Lake City, UT. Oh man.... really?? OK, ok. So I made notes about it so I wouldn't forget. Maybe someday, in the next 100 years, they will be digitized or I can view them, something. Ok, so I continue searching. Just in case someone has them transcribed or something. Then I found another repository. Metro Archives at the Nashville Public Library. hmmm.... Let's see what they have. Oh what's this?? Chancery Court Records?? Maybe?? No online search. Crap! Ok, let's see if we can contact someone. Maybe they can lead me in the right direction. It's Sunday so I probably won't hear back until next week. No problem, I'm not going anywhere. Ok request sent off. No problem. Break time.
Did some chores, ate lunch, helped my husband, you know the Adult life. Later than afternoon, my hubby had to run to the store, so I jumped back on the computer. Decided to check my email. Holy cow do I already have a response from the archives? You bet I do! And on a Sunday!! Ok so what's the answer.
Thank you for your request. I was able to find the divorce decree for Mary M. Dennis and Logan Dennis in our Chancery Court minute books, which I have scanned and attached to this email for you. We also keep Chancery Court case files in our off-site storage facility, so let me stop by there sometime this week and see if I can find their file as well, which will hopefully give you some more information. If I can find it, I will either scan it and send it to you, or if the file is too large, I can photocopy the materials and mail them to you.
I looked for her marriage to Logan Dennis in our marriage records, but could not find it. I suspect that they were married outside of Nashville. Hopefully that information will be in the case file.
I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have any more questions, and I will let you know if I can find their case file when I go over to storage this week (likely Tuesday or Wednesday).
Thanks! Kelley
WHAT?! Are you kidding me?? It was that easy?! Just, Oh here it is. I can't believe it. I was beyond excited! I guess 100 years came quickly haha! And there could be more? *gasp* "I'm coming for you Grandma Helfrich!!"
Ok after reading this decree, a few discrepancies have popped up that make me question some things. If anything, it makes me raise my eyebrow. This final divorce decree has their marriage occurring Oct 31, 1872. Well, wait a minute.... that would make Grandma Helfrich 9 years old. That doesn't work. So I have to call into question whether or not the birthdate I have for her is correct. The main sources I have regarding her birth are her death certificate (informant is her grand-daughter, Ruth Kelley), her headstone, and the family date book that has been passed down. The validity of the family date book has already been called into question above when I found out Grandma Honey and Grandpa Joe Ilg lied about their wedding date to hide the fact they got pregnant out of wedlock. So is it possible Grandma Helfrich lied about her age at some point? Well, I did find the 1880 census for Logan and Maggie Dennis, living in Jackson County. Her age listed there is 24. So that would put her birth year being around 1858, not 1863. So is it possible she lied about her age when she got married to her second husband, Jacob? Yeah, it is possible. If that's the case, the correct year would put her around 14 years old for her first marriage. Now, that makes more sense. Anyway, let's wait to see what the final paperwork says from the archives when it arrives.
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Here we are a few weeks later, and Kelley at the Metro Archives has gotten back to me. She finally found the paperwork! Yes! There WAS more! How exciting! Ok let's look it over....
"Mary M. Dennis, citizen of Davidson County, Tennessee, brings this bill against Logan Dennis, also of said County & State, and respectfully shows to the court that she and the defendant were married in Jackson County, Tennessee, on October 31, 1872," (Ok so they were definitely married in Jackson County, so I need to look for their marriage record there) "and have been continuously residing in the city of Nashville during the past seven years...…… marriage was never pleasant or agreeable..... defendant began to abuse her..... threatened to do her bodily harm..... his abuse, threats and treatment have grown worse.... drew his knife and threatened to kill her....." (Oh my gosh, what a horrible person, I knew he was bad, but this is just horrible. Ok let's continue reading)…."Defendant has never provided a proper support for her.... she maintained both him and herself by making pants for clothing.... began to keep a boarding house, and in that way has been supporting herself and the adopted child...." (I'm sorry what?)…. "a girl now between the ages of six and seven years old.... "(That's Oma's age! Is that Oma Mae? Maggie's daughter?? Adopted? What?? What are you saying??) "She has no child of her own....."Ok I have to stop here for a moment. This is too huge to just ignore. So according to this divorce record, Oma Mae Dennis, my 2nd great grandma, is not blood related to Maggie Helfrich?? Maggie Helfrich is not my blood related grandma? She is Oma's adopted mom? No wonder I've had trouble tracing some things in Tennessee.... Holy Cow.... Seriously, this is huge. I don't believe anyone ever knew. Possibly not even Oma herself. "Grandma did you tell anyone? Did anyone know? Did Oma know? I can't even imagine what you were feeling going through all this." I've got to let this sink in.
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I did read through everything Kelley sent me. Maggie asked for full custody of Oma and asked that Logan not have any contact with both of them every again. She also stated she had no money to pursue this and asked it be put on Logan. She obviously did get the divorce granted. YES! Grandma was illiterate, meaning she could not read or write. So this was dictated to someone and she signed it only by making her mark. An X. I can't imagine the strength she must have had to do this. She may have been scared out of her mind. But she stood up against him, and kept her and her "adopted" daughter safe.
So..... it doesn't look like I am going to make it any further at this point. While I got answers and broke through some bricks in my wall, I feel like I just added another wall, now on Oma's side. I don't think I will be able to find her birth mother. And with Maggie, some other things I've found, she has been on her own since a young age so I may not find her family. Am I going to quit? By no means. I will keep looking. It took me six years to come across this information. So who knows? With new DNA testing going on, records being put online, you never know what could happen. But for today.... I've kicked up enough dust, turned over enough rocks and unearthed enough skeletons. So let's let everything settle and sink in. I will continue another day....
"Grandma Helfrich,
I'm still coming for you..... I will find your family.... just not today. And I have to say, I admire your strength. I wish I could have had the opportunity to sit down with you.
Love, your 3rd great grand-daughter"
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